Growing up along the Massachusetts seacoast, I like seafood and enjoy an occasional meal of fish and chips.
But I can’t imagine for the life of me why any couple would voluntarily name their child Fish and Chips.
In the latest news of the weird, the Associated Press reports a family court judge in New Zealand, of all places, is requiring parents to not give their children bizarre names.
“The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child’s parents have shown in choosing this name,” writes Judge Rob Murfitt in his decision about 9-year-old Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii who will be removed from parental custody so the court can change the girl’s name. “It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.”
I wish I was making this up!
Taking their cue from offspring Moon Unit Zappa (Frank’s daughter), Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Geldof (Bob), Dandelion Richards (Keith), Brooklyn Beckham (David), Tallulah Belle Willis-Moore (or whatever Bruce and Demi’s surname is), and Seargeogh Stallone (can gou guess the father?), parents are naming their children with bizarre names.
But, the New Zealand story goes beyond and into a world of baby names up and down the Kiwi coastline that make Moon Unit and Heavenly Hiraani tame: Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Number 16 Bus Shelter, and Violence.
Maybe the parents didn’t know what to name their kids. Maybe they read too much Goethe, who said, “When ideas fail, words come in very handy.”
The blogosphere is riddled with references and opinions on this Kiwi court caper. Here are some of the better ones I found:
- “It is a parent’s right to name a child and this judge has overstepped boundaries,” opines Mim. “Some kids don’t like their names. Let her change her name when she gets older.”
- Kathy Kehrli questions the greater appall of “the parents who bestowed such a name upon their child in the first place or the dictatorial censorship” of the court.
- Kasia @ The Clam Rampant “doesn’t like to see governments charging in and taking over. The state exists to serve the citizens, not vice versa; and while stepping in to change a grossly ludicrous name seems to be a reasonable measure, whenever anything like this happens I find myself wondering what the potential next step is.”
- “I’d like to think that the name is simply the result of New Zealand being upside-down,” writes Dorky Dad. “But an unfortunately large number of baby-name weirdos reside here, too. You know these people, they have last names like Roberts, Johnson and Michael and name their children Robert, John and Michael, respectively.”
- Stephen Saban writes, “A judge should subpoena Jason Lee for naming his kid Pilot Inspektor, Shannyn Sossamon for Audio Science, Nic Cage for Kal-el, Penn Jillette for Moxie Crimefigher, Gwyneth Paltrow for Apple, and the Zappas for starting the trend.”
- In a cuss-laden but humorous diatribe, Kristen Ferrell poses the question, “How does “Violence” look on a job application?” She has a point and I’m curious how Violence’s parents would respond.
My name, Ari, is very popular among Jewish, Finnish, and Greek families. But growing up in suburban America in the 1970s, before names like Moon Unit were in vogue (was her name ever in vogue?), I was ridiculed. It didn’t help I wore eyeglasses and was smart.
I feel bad for kids named Audio, Moxie, Pixie, Brooklyn, and Sex Fruit. I can only imagine the lifeline of the jokes and how the kids, if not in protective friendship circles, could be scarred.