Growing up along the Massachusetts seacoast, I like seafood and enjoy an occasional meal of fish and chips.
But I can’t imagine for the life of me why any couple would voluntarily name their child Fish and Chips.
In the latest news of the weird, the Associated Press reports a family court judge in New Zealand, of all places, is requiring parents to not give their children bizarre names.
“The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child’s parents have shown in choosing this name,” writes Judge Rob Murfitt in his decision about 9-year-old Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii who will be removed from parental custody so the court can change the girl’s name. “It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.”
I wish I was making this up!
Taking their cue from offspring Moon Unit Zappa (Frank’s daughter), Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Geldof (Bob), Dandelion Richards (Keith), Brooklyn Beckham (David), Tallulah Belle Willis-Moore (or whatever Bruce and Demi’s surname is), and Seargeogh Stallone (can gou guess the father?), parents are naming their children with bizarre names.
But, the New Zealand story goes beyond and into a world of baby names up and down the Kiwi coastline that make Moon Unit and Heavenly Hiraani tame: Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Number 16 Bus Shelter, and Violence.
Maybe the parents didn’t know what to name their kids. Maybe they read too much Goethe, who said, “When ideas fail, words come in very handy.”
The blogosphere is riddled with references and opinions on this Kiwi court caper. Here are some of the better ones I found:
- “It is a parent’s right to name a child and this judge has overstepped boundaries,” opines Mim. “Some kids don’t like their names. Let her change her name when she gets older.”
- Kathy Kehrli questions the greater appall of “the parents who bestowed such a name upon their child in the first place or the dictatorial censorship” of the court.
- Kasia @ The Clam Rampant “doesn’t like to see governments charging in and taking over. The state exists to serve the citizens, not vice versa; and while stepping in to change a grossly ludicrous name seems to be a reasonable measure, whenever anything like this happens I find myself wondering what the potential next step is.”
- “I’d like to think that the name is simply the result of New Zealand being upside-down,” writes Dorky Dad. “But an unfortunately large number of baby-name weirdos reside here, too. You know these people, they have last names like Roberts, Johnson and Michael and name their children Robert, John and Michael, respectively.”
- Stephen Saban writes, “A judge should subpoena Jason Lee for naming his kid Pilot Inspektor, Shannyn Sossamon for Audio Science, Nic Cage for Kal-el, Penn Jillette for Moxie Crimefigher, Gwyneth Paltrow for Apple, and the Zappas for starting the trend.”
- In a cuss-laden but humorous diatribe, Kristen Ferrell poses the question, “How does “Violence” look on a job application?” She has a point and I’m curious how Violence’s parents would respond.
My name, Ari, is very popular among Jewish, Finnish, and Greek families. But growing up in suburban America in the 1970s, before names like Moon Unit were in vogue (was her name ever in vogue?), I was ridiculed. It didn’t help I wore eyeglasses and was smart.
I feel bad for kids named Audio, Moxie, Pixie, Brooklyn, and Sex Fruit. I can only imagine the lifeline of the jokes and how the kids, if not in protective friendship circles, could be scarred.
About Ari Herzog
I read about that the other day; I’m not sure how I feel about it. It is the parents’ right, but they should still have to answer to someone.
But more importantly, you got me in the mood for Fish and Chips, so it’s time to go have lunch.
This is kind of confusing (and disturbing)to me (the original story, not your post). The child was made a ward of the court solely for the purpose of changing her name? That’s what it says, right?
I went through my childhood with the “stigma” of an unusual name (for the U.S.) and went by “Jill” for most of my life, until I moved to Mass.
At some point, you come to terms with your given name – or you change it!
Maybe the girl begged the judge to make such a move, which does seem overly intrusive …
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was “Yay Ari” for writing “I feel bad for …” instead of “I feel badly for ..”
@Will: How was lunch? Did you have fish?
@Gillian: The story indicated near the bottom that New Zealand had an existing law forbidding parents to name their children with “embarassing” names. In the case of Talula with a Hula from Hawaii, the parents broke the law so the court took custody.
At least that’s my interpretation.
Yeah, I saw that, but I thought it related more to names that would be offensive to others than embarassing to the child.
It’s a difficult issue; you can’t legislate stupidity, or whatever it is that motivates people to name their kids something guaranteed to make them a target of ridicule.
Having said that, we here in Mass. have a bunch of laws that are designed to save us from our stupid side, as I know you are aware …
I don’t think a court need to change a baby name. its the parents problem how thy name the baby.
Maybe the government should have a HUGE book of names and if a baby’s name is not in that book it should have to be approved by a judge before it goes on a birth certificate. But then again, that just plain sounds Communist.
I can’t put a finger on this. Yes, parents have the right to name their children. Well, who else is expected to do that? The neighbors? No way. But then, if you’re a parent and you name your child Sex Fruit … are you serious?!?! Would YOU like to be called Sex Fruit for the rest of your life? Or, at least, for the whole duration of your childhood?
I guess the golden rule somehow applies here — “Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.” Unless, in your older, dementia-ridden years, you won’t mind your children and grandchildren giving you nicknames such as Wrinkled Grape or Smells Like Dust!
All this post proves is that there is a insane number of idiots in the world. I actually think the idea about having a big book of names is a good idea after seeing what people are calling their kids. Gotta feel sorry for the kids in later life.
I feel sorry for the kids. My middle name is “miles” and I used to dread the first day of term at school because it was the only time we had to confirm our full name. “Miles” is not even odd but, it was considered a bit “posh” and I used to get no end of stick for a week or so afterwards! I’d never inflict too anything out of the ordinary on any child.
You gotta be kiddin’ me? I just ran across this post, and what’s next: Naming the kids peanut butter and jelly? Better yet, how ’bout they call them Orange Jello and Green Jello. They can make it sound hip: Oranjello and Grenjelo. Yeah, I like that…