The following is a feature article by Christopher Roberts.
Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, LinkedIn, MySpace, Foursquare…
These are examples of social networking sites, but you knew that.
However, have you ever thought of the impact they have on you?
Are you better off because of them? Of course you are! You can contact friends almost anywhere, at any time. You can become ‘super social’ talking, sharing, commenting, and constantly updating the ‘internet you’ for all to see.
Great!
Right?
Maybe not…
Humans are built to be social creatures; it’s in our genetic makeup, it’s what makes us different from other animals. We communicate with each other and thrive because of it. Since the moment we were born, we depended on others. Some animals can get up and walk off, fending for themselves for the rest of their lives; but not humans.
We 100% depend on others, and we would die shortly after birth without the help from others.
Is social media that good?
You can use social media to communicate with others, but does it really have the same value as a proper conversation? When you chat with someone online it doesn’t give you that ‘real’ feeling that you get when you talk to a person; you get a machine throwing graphics at you.
Are we losing what it means to be human, because it’s easier (and lazier) to communicate with others online? I think we might be.
Without human interaction, I would go mad within days. Can a machine offer sanity, normality, and comfort that people can provide?
To be fair, social media can help you organise more. You can have your diary sitting right next to your social media application right there on screen, so you can easily contact friends and family and arrange to meet up. The thing is, do you? It’s easier now to organise and meet up in person, but it’s even easier to talk online.
There are some social networking tools like Friends Reunited and Skype which are a lot more personal. Friends Reunited can help you meet up with old friends, which can only be a good thing. Skype allows you to talk to people with your real voice – not your fingers! With Skype, you can even video call people with your face and voice. Not perfect face to face real life conversation, but better than a boring old computer.
What do you think?
Do you feel you have more friends because of social media?
Do social networking sites cause you to go out less?
Do you feel as close (not physical distance, but that feeling that comes from inside) to your friends as you did when there was no social media?
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{ 33 comments }
January 14, 2011 at 10:39 AM
I’m getting tired of the social media bashing I hear and read about lately. It seems to me to be a deflection away from some REAL social problems we have, like bullying, addiction, stalking, etc.
To answer the questions posed:
I have definitely made more friends since opening a Facebook account in November 2007. Many people who didn’t really know me before have come to know and like me from our interactions on Facebook.
As a result of this increase in friends I go out more. I am invited to events and parties, and included in groups that plan activities on a regular basis.
I am far closer to people as a direct result of social media. I love the chat feature (I dislike the phone – always have!).
I am 50 years old, and I hope to use social media for the rest of my life. I feel sorry for seniors who have not learned how to use email or chat. I don’t want to live a lonely existence. Social media allows me to stay in touch with what is going on, and to reach out easily and quickly when I need some companionship.
You know, in the old days, this discourse was about television. How young people were going to hell in an anti-social hand-basket because they watched too much TV. Columnists talked about it in newspapers and magazines. Now they blather on about it on the web. Sorry, I’m tired already of this topic!
Christopher
I agree with your statement…
“Humans are built to be social creatures”
One of the difficult things about working from home is the lack of social contact – you can’t make up by having a cyber network of social contacts.
It’s just not the same.
“It’s just not the same.” – Sums it up perfectly for me Keith.
Do you believe that its bad for us then?
Yes – I’ts bad for us.
We neglect our social skills until eventually… we don’t have any!
Slightly over pessimistic? Maybe, or maybe we are sacrificing friends for the computer…
Only the future will tell Keith.
January 14, 2011 at 4:29 PM
In 2010, I got together with at least five friends I hadn’t seen in over ten years due to my Facebook account. I have many others with whom I chat regularly, some I haven’t seen in thirty years. I am confident I will meet most of them face-to-face again at some point, and I would never have seen them again if not for Facebook.
I find I am far more social now that I am using social media than I ever was in the past. Activities that once might have died for lack of interest in my immediate circle of friends and family, I now share online and find friends to accompany me.
I worry when we let our computers and cellphones distract us from the people already in the room with us. While Facebook helps me connect with old friends and keep in touch with new ones, I fear sometimes that social media activity not held in check can interfere with personal relationships.
Yes “Humans are built to be social creatures”.
And humans were built long time ago and might need an upgrade…
Our brain is practically the same since about 150.000 years ago. Netscape started about 15 years ago. Mmmmm…
Our brain is not really adapted to it. Well, in particular the part of the brain that have to do with fear and trust (that is the amygdala). Thus, social networking might help us “know” people but hardly will help us increase the trust in them.
“Physical proximity will still be necessary (…) the primitive forces of the cave (…) do not pass through the Information Marketplace [he means the Internet]”. (From “What will be”, Michael Dertouzos, 1998).
January 16, 2011 at 11:19 AM
As every good thing has a ill effect,Like wise even though social media helps you to interact and find Info ,It will make you lazy!
Very True Saksham
Just like any other things with great benefits, social networking also has that disadvantageous side if it is not used in moderation. I have read somewhere that psychologically, it is a healthy avenue where a person can materialize the kind of impression he wants to project to people.
I totally agree with you about the value of proper conversation.
You are right in that you can’t display emotions properly over the internet, with
:-? 
:-x 
and 
being about the limit to your online emotions.
Very true Chris, but do we use them too much?
I extremely hope not Keith!
Something may supersede the Internet, computers etc. who knows…
Why thank you Prestiti
January 16, 2011 at 5:13 PM
Thing is, Christopher, is it any different from making a phone call as opposed to visiting a friend? Or an email, or text message?
Communication mediums have been around in numerous shapes and sizes for years, and still people have communicated in person. To me, it’s more about how social a person is to start with, as opposed to the medium itself.
Interesting topic.
I see what you mean Danny, but yes I believe there is a difference. A face to face conversation is the ultimate form of social interaction, with a phone call as the next best alternative. A handwritten/signed letter is the next on the list for me, with the least social form of interaction being an email, text , Tweet etc.
That is just my personal list Danny
How would your list go, and why?
I think it really depends on the situation and person. For myself, I only have people on my Facebook that I am personally connected with anyways (friends, family members, people I have worked with in the past etc). I maintain relationships with these people on and offline. Most of them don’t live close to me anymore so it gives me that central place to connect with everyone that I cannot literally get to see but I also still talk to them on the phone. On the opposite side, sometimes I look at people that have hundreds or even thousands of friends on their personal pages (not business) and I wonder how on earth they know each and every one of them personally? Fact is, they can’t, which leads me to believe that social networking has become more of a popularity contest than it has become a tool to generally help people stay connected.
Social networking has its pluses and minuses. The greatest con for me is that SN makes the conversation useless. Especially during the first date. There is no reason to ask about fav color or song, place of work or number of friends. Everything is there. And some mystery of new meeting is lost.
However, it allows us to stay in touch with peole from all over the world…
True… do you think we tell social media too much then?
January 17, 2011 at 8:30 PM
Hi, Chris.
I believe this actually depends on the person utilising a social networking site and his purpose of using it. If he is using for business purposes and is able to detach his personal life from this, then he will fare well. If he is able to balance his social network usage versus his personal meet-ups, face to face communication and phone or video conversations, then there is no reason for social networking to make him less social.
Now, if a person uses a social network to build up his friends’ list, yet he is unable to connect to these people except online because of his shyness, is this really bad for him? There are many arguments regarding social networks now, Chris, and almost all the statements coming out have their own point. That is why I always say it depends on the user really.
- Wes -
Social media usually make people less social. It is not uncommon for people with the most number of friends on facebook or myspace have the least number, or no at all, friends in the real world. No social website can replace or substitute face to face human interaction.
I remember once sending my neighbor an IM, because I needed something urgently. That was vague, all I needed to do was just ring their bell. I agree social sites have instilled a fair amount of laziness in us. I mean during chat when I see a big smiley on my screen, I think what I just typed might be funny, but there is no way to gauge the other person’s true feelings. Being with a friend and spending quality time with them can never be substituted by a virtual buddy.
“Being with a friend and spending quality time with them can never be substituted by a virtual buddy.” – Oh how very true that is Megan. I completely agree with you, its so more impersonal than reality.
But is that wrong? Is social media meant to be a substitute, or a compliment to real conversation?
An Internet cannot be a substitute for face-to-face.
Looking at people in the eyes is… invaluable!
I think when something is new you get less social in real life but after a while you kind of go back to where you were before, you want to speak with someone on the phone or face to face. Me for example, I do some kind of activity on facebook every second day more or less, whereas before it could be 10 times a day.
Nice, speak to people. Even a phone call is more personal than a Facebook message.
When I am on social network, mostly I am unaware about the identification of my so called ‘online friend’. But what the heck, it’s easier to find people here rather than get together, churches or date services. Also, some of them are really useful to maintain networks, which helps me in my professional work too!
The natural tendency of a human to get social by the way of meeting people in public places or elsewhere is slowly fading out. Today people, majorly youngsters are happy and satisfied sitting in front of their mac chatting away to glory or adding new web pals. Online buddies and dates require fewer efforts so we tend to buy that idea out.
Don’t they meet face-to-face and hang around in (physical
places?
Do you really believe that online will overtake real world???
Virtually socializing is so contagious these days, I feel people prefer socializing that way because they are afraid of meeting people in real, getting hurt and regretting later.
“meeting people in real, getting hurt and regretting later” – I don’t know many people that would hurt you when socialising!
Talking to people in real life is usually much better online… although I am not encouraging you to meet up wit people you met online, that could be dangerous.
Nothing can ever substitute a warm conversation with your friends or some quality time spent with your family. In the quest for marketing ourselves (and other reasons too) we get caught up with a myriad of virtual pals. Initially all seems fine, but as the relationship demands more, we shrink back & don’t respond!
Wise words Aaron… wise words…
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