It is easy to say you want to work for yourself. Deciding to be your own boss and set your own hours is a no-brainer. Bestselling books like “The 4-Hour Workweek” tell you you can do it.
News flash: Doing it is not easy.
Unlike my peers who are making magic consulting for their clients and helping them understand the myriad ways of success in the social media space, I am failing. I talk to potential clients but no green light. I apply for short-term contractual jobs but nothing pans out. Rejection knows me well.
Despite going out on my own in 2009 as a solopreneur to help organizations develop social media strategies, it took me a while (and I’m still learning) where and how my skills and experiences can best be leveraged. That first year witnessed a long-term engagement with Social Media Today managing two of their online communities. I also taught some new media workshops to government managers in Washington, D.C. and Chicago.
That was a short-lived year in retrospect. By the time 2010 came around, I raked in the dough with a few gigs but nothing spectacular came my way. When I thought I had something, it ended. This year, 2011, has the mark of more fruits, helped by my teaching college courses about social media marketing and social networking. But it only pays so much.
Going out on your own is hard work — and requires failure.
The thing is, college doesn’t teach you to fail. It’s about the A, not the F.
Experience teaches failure, and you need to fail to succeed.
I’m tired of failing. I’m tired of telling my family and friends not to worry, that I know what I’m doing, and that I have faith in my abilities.
My journey is not over.
Enter the wisdom of Charlie Harary.
I was familiar with the Jewish Orthodox organization, Aish HaTorah, providing the vehicle for Charlie’s voice. But I hadn’t seen their videos.
I watched one of his inspirational videos last week and encourage you to watch it now. This is not about Judaism. It’s not about Aish.
It’s about finding faith.
One view of that video and I was hooked.
Charlie’s words reminded me of The Dip, Seth Godin’s book that I later wrote about that inspired me to enter consulting.
I remembered why I wanted to work for myself.
It was different last summer. I was insistent to find a 40-hour-a-week job. Click that link and you can read a similar article I wrote with a goal of becoming busier. I met with a career coach and discovered how I could portray myself and my abilities in ways I hadn’t considered. I networked with a lot of people, applied for a lot of jobs, wrote a lot of cover letters, and interviewed for a lot of positions.
By the time I celebrated my 35th birthday last fall, I gained a better understanding of what I want to do now that I am grown up. And when the new year struck its bells, I learned one more thing about myself: working for The Man in a daily grind is not in my cards.
But something is off. Something isn’t working for me.
Is there something I am doing that I should do differently?
I flipped around the Aish YouTube channel and found another video about going the distance:
Bringing it together.
My New Year’s resolution involved a 2-prong tactic of developing social media strategies for public organizations by way of writing, speaking, and consulting; and securing a part-time role in marketing communications at a nonprofit association. While I await feedback on the former, I am about to switch gears and focus on the latter.
During a recent business lunch, I asked my companion for advice on pitching my target part-time employer. She worked in the industry and instantly knew what to tell me that I should do. She didn’t say the same stuff that others told me during past lunches, but she suggested I go about a familiar task in a different way.
I’m sure my family and friends will continue to worry about me. I don’t blame them, but I have faith that new ways of doing old tasks will achieve success.
The only question is how many times do I need to fail on my own before I do a 180 and give up trying it on my own and commit to working full-time for someone else. I can’t answer that question right now.
Wish me luck on my journey through the rest of 2011.
And, if you’re in a similar situation, here’s to finding the faith.
About Ari Herzog
Ari –
Very, very candid, and I respect that. For what it’s worth, sir, I believe in you. Keep plugging.
– Daniel
Thanks for that, Daniel.
This is a very honest yet helpful piece that I can identify with, Ari. Thanks for letting us know that you also have your downs. I was thinking that it is all up with you nowadays. But, with this piece, you showed us how you are human like the rest of us.
Let’s find and keep the faith together, Ari. 2011 may have its hurdles, but with friends whom you can lean on and learn from, we will surely overcome all challenges. 
Yes, I’m as human as anyone else. You facing any obstacles, Wes?
Yes, Ari. Right now, I am trying my best to convert my marketing efforts into clients, which is kind of hard because competition in the graphic and web design field is quite fierce.
Failure is key of success. Honestly speaking once I was like a person who wakes up in the morning and the first thought that hit my mind was would I sleep after having dinner? But I consider such times as a gift and my previous experiences always gives me the guidance to make a good choice which is taking me higher and higher. But you know what I am still not living a luxurious life even I have resources to do so. I have realized the most precious blessing is to getting the chance of work and which includes creativity everything else is unnecessary. This gives you peace and it is only possible if you had been through some extra ordinary tough times .
Thanks for chiming in, William.
Ari,
I wish you all the best in the year 2011. I have always known that Solomon was a wise man – so no matter how many times you fail, you have to get up, brush yourself and go further. That’s the truth. I think that a person who managed to get up after a failure deserves more respect that the one who has never fallen.
Do you know anyone who doesn’t fall, Max?
No, because they never got up. They disappeared
This is your best post yet, Ari.
It takes a lot of courage and faith to step out on your own. Most people have an idea that it’s easy, you can set your own hours, not deal with a boss (your client is your new boss!). The fact is it’s really hard! Anyone who has been on their own quickly understands being overworked and underpaid is part of the job description.
My husband and I have had what’s considered a successful web development biz for 10 years. Most of the time it provides a comfortable living. We have long-time clients who love us and the majority of new business is driven by referrals. But honestly, it’s never felt successful. Together we put in 130 hours a week, sometimes more. But the compensation is more like a 30 hour per week job.
It’s a rollercoaster ride! When business is great…it’s a huge high. It’s a tremendous motivation. But it will bottom out from time to time. And the down times will have you questioning everything as you’ve already discovered.
I really don’t think the failures ever go away. You just learn to handle them more gracefully and prepare for them.
Honestly, I’m working on my resume and my husband’s right now! We could work less and get paid more working for The Man. That used to be an unacceptable tradeoff, but after our last “failure” (our largest client was bought by a bigger company so 40% of our income went away), it’s looking like a pretty sweet deal.
Based on the little I know about you, Ari, I’m sure if you continue keeping the faith, you can get exactly what you want! Get a good support group of colleagues and friends who can push you on, give suggestions, refer you, etc. I’m looking forward to the day I hear someone say that Ari Herzog is giving a talk in town so we better get tickets early before they sell out.
Heh. If you can suggest someone for me to talk to in your town who can pay my way there, I’ll give a talk. Make it happen, Janna!
Ari,
This is an excellent and beautifully honest post. It’s not easy to go out on your own and build a business. It is easy to get discouraged. I look at my colleagues and wonder how they manage to do it all. They seem to have full client-loads, fun projects and great websites with solid blogs. It always appears that others are having an easier time. But every conversation I’ve had has proven to me that it took a great deal of time and effort to get where they are — and that they still struggle to balance the competing demands and still have times when there is no client on the horizon.
Thank you for sharing these videos. The timing was absolutely perfect! Here’s to cranking up the awesome for the rest of 2011!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Erica. Do you think that anyone is satisfied with their workload despite what others think of them?
That’s a good question, Ari. I don’t know the answer. But I choose to believe that there are people out there who are satisfied with their workload and who have achieved a very good balance. I also believe that the “perfect” workload is different for each one of us. Eventually, I will find that sweet-spot!
Ari, thanks for sharing your story. It’s important for people to see the real struggles that happen when people are self-employed.
I sent you an e-mail over the weekend about one potential option for you.
Yes, John, I’d seen your email but haven’t gotten around to it yet. It’s in my to-do list.
It takes a lot of courage to speak so openly and honestly about your life like you just did, so much respect to you for that. I especially liked what you said about the value of failure and how failure breads success. From what I can tell from reading your posts , you seem like a very smart, motivated individual to whom much success is owed. Wishing you continued faith in yourself (and a little bit of patience)! Best of luck for 2011!
Thanks for your thoughts, Petra.
Hi Ari! Like many of the others, I love this post! It is very honest and I think it helps sometimes to let others know you are not perfect. As someone who has been self-employed for many years (think almost 30), I have seen many phases. My resume business was paired with non-profit operations for 18 years, with contracts of up to 4 at one point. But I found when I was so spread out the resume side of me never grew. Last year, I had one of the lowest months of my life, the first month without a contract. There were many contributing factors but it scared me.
I can tell you that since then, there have been good and bad months and one really great month. Early this month, I opened another blog with a different focus. It is too early to see what will happen on that one but I can tell you that I expect ups and downs there too.
Keeping a positive attitude and making small changes, one at a time, gains more results than changing directions every time you hit a wall. Wishing you blessings!
Thanks for the positive vibes, Julie. I’ve often wondered why you don’t write your resume tips for a mass-circulated publication a la USA Today. Or, do you?
You have to fail to learn how to succeed. That sounds crazy, but I firmly believe in it. Failure is painful but it helps provide the “toughness” to keep plugging away
Thanks, Jack. Have you failed lately?
Ari, really impressed by your personal transparency here man…this was as real as it gets. I hope you stay the course, and continue to believe in yourself, because you’ve got a lot of talent man. Good luck!
Marcus
Everything I write here is me (except when other people like yourself contribute articles). One of the reasons I was (and am) struggling with a blog tagline is to stray the focus away from solely social media tips toward more educational/personal development articles, too. Such as this one. I wrote this not for you but for me. Thanks for sticking around, Marcus.
Ari, thanks for openly sharing what everyone goes through when starting out on their own. When I made a decision to enter the CRM consulting space (in 1997) I asked successful consultants for advice and heard 2 things over and over:
1. It takes a couple of years, sometimes more, to really get established and build a client base
2. It’s critical to have a specialty — that “one thing” that really distinguishes you.
That advice helped me decide to focus on an underserved/emerging niche in CRM called PRM (Partner Relationship Management) rather than trying to be a generic CRM consultant (there were already many).
I remember being pretty discouraged that first year until I committed to PRM and put all my energy behind it. Of course things do change and I’m not doing PRM consulting now, but it gave me a start.
I think social media is in a similar state right now. It’s a big term with lots going on. Being a “social media expert” could mean Tweeting for clients or doing social media strategy for F500. So I’ll pass along the advice I was given to have patience but also focus. And also give my good wishes towards your success!
Bob Thompson
http://www.CustomerThink.com
I’ve often wondered about the value of using acronyms when they need to be defined when talking to people who don’t know about the acronyms. I know about CRM for instance, but never heard of PRM and am clueless how the tools and modes of the two differ, but that’s a question for another time.
Thanks for chiming in, Bob. Hope you come back.
Thanks for your candidness here, Ari. It is very important that we do not lose faith in ourselves and what we can do because if we do, what are here for? Good luck!
Yes, what are we here to do, Karoline?
Sobering video – thanks.
Which one, David? And, why sobering?
Hi Ari, wow, I love this post man.
You have the foundation set — the credibility, social footprint and the expertise that value can built around – lots of it… That’s in place.
You have the courage and integrity that great men lives are built on. Just read the post.
However, do you possess the most important trait of great people/ self made men and women have?
That’s the big question and when you arrive at the desired destination (vision) that sent you this course, then you’ll know that you do. Just don’t lose heart and quit.
Most men do.
And what is that most important trait, Mark?
Stick-to-it-iveness.
Ari,
First, thanks so much for the inclusion in the “working it” category! I really appreciate that you value me as a business owner and that I can inspire in some form. But, what I will share (shh…don’t tell anyone
) is I wake up feeling like how you feel a lot of the days of the week. Even when clients are saying yes, and things are heading in the direction you want, all it takes is one lost (big) contract to send me back to the world of “Can I really compete in this industry?” Business on your own is brutal, cut-throat and tougher than I ever imagined…and I am only about to start year three! The good news is that the struggles are worth it when you finally turn the corner and nail that meeting, and get that first big job. I know how hard keeping faith in yourself can be…my solution? Have a couple people you can talk to (really talk to, intimate struggles, reality checks, etc) and that can help. For me, it’s my parents and my husband. They give me perspective, remind me where I have been and where I am headed. It is never going to be easy, if it were, everyone would do it. Good news is, you are ahead of the curve because you are willing to admit you need help (in faith, promotion, whatever) and that is the key to getting what you need.
I know you will do well!
The thing is, Kirsten, I’ve never asked myself, “Can I compete in this industry?” Competition never hits me, because I view my contribution as specific, niche, and not general like many others. This is a platform I need to promote more.
If i’m perfectly honest with you I have been pondering for at least a year and a half as to whether I should work full time on my own websites as currently I have a full time job as well as maintining my sites.
There is a line of risk involved as to whether you can succeed in the plan I have been wondering upon, however one day i’m sure I will take the leap and just go for it. I have faith in myself atleast.
If you have a job, you’d be a fool to quit it. The job economy sucks.
That is widely true Ari and I can agree with you there to an extent, however for what I do I can sit at a computer in Spain or in Orlando and still make the same money I am now (I class my online ventures and day job as seperate entities).
To help you understand this is the best I can do my friend: My full time job pays my bills, my part time online ventures pay my holidays abroad. If I quit my full time job, i’d have no holidays, but still pay my bills. In either scenario i’m secure.
Struggle is a part of life and we all come across at least once in a lifetime because we are not super heroes like in the comic books. I’ve always liked reading your post Ari and I should say you’re quiet popular, I came across a lot of people who knows you and appreciates both you as a person and your work. Thanks for sharing on how to pull along during hard times. Life is complicated but being content and happy, too,depends a lot on our mindset and how we tackle situations.
Cheers for sharing your thoughts, Jarrod.
Who knows me, though?
I think that the most successful people out there are the ones that have failed more times than they would like to admit. But they kept pushing and trying until they achieved their goals. Thanks for the inspiration in this post – it’s something that I have been needing for myself!
If successful people fail, then you are the queen of failure, Kristi!
Hi, Ari,
You know how to make good posts and make people read them. The post is very inspiring and full of optimism although it is about failures. The video presented in the post is worth twitting and sharing with others.
If you are interested in my opinion, no victory is possible without loosing and failures. Per aspera ad astra.
Thanks for your comment, Dinara. Is that your name, by the way?
Congratulations man! Never give in. We as entrepreneurs do things that most people don’t and won’t do….so that we can live an life like most people will never live. It truly is a self directed one. Never give in….it’ll happen!
What sort of entrepreneurial spirit are you, David?
In the beginning, it all started out with a small glass company and then into internet marketing, first with a home based business. Now I own a business that provides webmaster and internet marketing services such as SEO etc. I actually attempted the job scene for nearly a year in between business ventures and hated every moment of it. I know that I will never thrive in that kind of an environment. Entrepreneurship definitely isn’t for some and it hasn’t always been easy. But I know, that if I’m not working for myself, I won’t ever feel like I gave it my all. You know?
Intriguing you say you own an internet marketing business but when I click your name to visit your website there’s nothing there that echoes what you say.
I don’t really comment on other people’s blogs as an advertising effort. If I comment, the blog was useful or inspiring to me. I have linked my name to my website this time around if you’d like to check it out.
Sure, this post comes up just as my post on the 5 dangers of working from home disappears from CommentLuv. lol
Come June I will been in business for myself 10 years. Over the course of time I have had great years and I’ve had substandard years. We living high you feel like nothing is ever going to stop, but when the bad times come you worried that they’re going to last forever. And with the spouse it can be even tougher because whatever happens doesn’t affect just you.
But perseverance and a good spirit always seems to work out pretty well. Right now I’m in the period of feeling really good and there’s a lot of things coming my way. Will they end up being spectacular or borderline? One never knows until a contract is signed for the negotiation reaches a negative conclusion. That isn’t satisfying enough to say that one has been able to take care of themselves for the most part? Absolutely!
You can still link to things, Mitch.
And glad to know you are feeling good.
I totally agree with your statement that being on your own, one must be hard working and must always expect and include failure. I got to admit, college really is focused on pushing the students to get an A grade without failure – which I guess is not that helpful for the students. BUT, it’s true: one has to fail to succeed –others even fall down so many times but it’s the getting up part that counts. Thanks for this post!
Makes you wonder what the better metric is for evaluating students other than letter grades.
Has anyone been able to do the 4 hour work week I seen it many times I don’t know anyone that works only 4 hours a week that is working.
I wish I could work only 4 hours and still make enough.
How does that work? has anyone been able to do it?
No idea, Donald. But if you find out, let us know!
Happy to have quite literally stumbled onto you. It appears you’re gaining traction with this post. Looks like you struck a nerve. Doh! It’s ALL OF US looking into the same mirror you’re looking into. Best of luck and I’m going to be joining these other kind folks in watching your progress, cheering you on and joining you for the push toward success. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for chiming in, Randy. Now that you’re here, I hope you stick around.
Excellent post, Ari.
April is the cruelest month, it’s been said. It is always a struggle, but the worthwhile things are not easy. I have been on my own more often than not. Faith is definitely a key to your success. I wish you tremendous success in 2011 and beyond.
Kindest Regards,
Deb
A recent blog you might enjoy: Is Selling a Dirty Word? http://wp.me/p1cMIY-ke
April isn’t cruel. It’s merely full of showers.
That’s the dream Ari. I am hoping to be released from my 9-5 prison by January next year.
thanks for inspiring!
Hi Ari – Thanks for the honesty as well as the inspiration. There are more people than you realize in the same situation. Every so often, when discouraged, I think of a book I read last year “The Frozen Water Trade” by Gavin Weightman about Frederic Tudor, a turn-of-the-19th-century Bostonian, who farmed ice from Wenham and Cambridge ponds and shipped it to the Caribbean and India. He failed many times (and people thought him crazy) but eventually succeeded and changed the world. We’ll have to toast to our solopreneur status sometime with a cool drink!